[ Well all of that happened, but Terra felt embarrassed after getting caught up in the heat of the moment, even if that wasn't all. It's possible he hadn't been thinking things through, but he was frustrated, he hadn't wanted to abandon Connor, and at the same time...
He feels bad, to suggest something like that. So instead, he'll give Han's door a rap, to see if he's alright. ]
Han, are you around? I just wanted to talk to you for a quick moment.
[ If he isn't, he'll just leave and come another day, it's fine. ]
[ The brunet comes in, and closes the door behind him, before he manages to draw closer. His hands clench into fists at his sides. ]
...I'm sorry.
[ ... ]
I figured that since you were immune no one would get hurt, but I didn't think of any other dangers--and I...I don't want you to think that I thought you were...disposable or anything.
[ Now that it seemed Han cared about them and was trying to do their best for them, his wellbeing mattered too--staff or not. Even if he didn't, if he had gotten hurt for his suggestion--he had tried to think it through, granted, but not enough--then he would've never forgiven himself. ]
[he pauses and looks up from his computer, a bit like he didn't expect that to be the thing that he came for. But also, there's a hint of relief to his look.]
[ He notices, giving a nod at the recognition of his words, and he just stands there awkwardly for a bit. Maybe he did the right thing by at least coming by and saying those things. ]
...Are you going to be alright?
[ Last night -- well, still tonight -- was quite a trip. ]
[ After that moment, his expression seems to finally settle out of any sort of awkwardness. ]
...Thanks for letting us know about all of that--earlier, I mean. If you wanted to, you could've just let us die, and it'll be all over. You didn't have to do anything.
[ Now, he doesn't know what else to say, because he didn't come here for anything else. Terra will just look at Han carefully, almost curiously now, and then begin to head back towards the door. ]
[ So, Terra's expectations had been still somewhat...lowish, because this has been an all-around difficult time in general, and here he is not expecting him to not even say anything. The brunet wouldn't have faulted him much for it, since he still feels guilty about earlier, but because Han's said something, it's caught his attention. ]
Huh?
[ The surprise is enough that he almost walks straight into the door and boy, that would've been embarrassing. He'll turn his head to look at Han, however. ]
[ Then he'll turn around completely after a moment of deciding whether to or not. ]
I'll...remember that. It's just been hard, I guess, to really imagine that you actually cared.
[ Terra takes a breath. He doesn't usually talk to Han, and he was about to leave, but he ... there's something else he wants to say now. Now that he's actually starting to trust him. ]
We're in a sadistic experiment here where people are practically being pushed to kill others, and none of them deserve this at all. I already knew you couldn't do much against the Administration, but I didn't know you or what your motivations were, and how you honestly felt about us.
I felt the same about Megumi--before I knew who she was. Even as time went on and I saw that the both of you at least intervened in a few incidents, I wasn't sure.
It's been hard, but I...want -- wanted --- to protect everyone. Han, I...I made a promise to Vivi. That I would look after everyone. That I'd make sure they wouldn't do anything foolish.
...But I failed. So, I've been trying so hard, to protect the people I could. At the same time, it looks like I had almost lost sight of it back then, and I might've gotten someone innocent hurt. I know I already apologized, but I want to let you know that from now on...
...you're one of those people I'll be looking after too.
[he really wasn't expecting that. he just looks a little stunned now, and his impulse is to tell him to not worry. Especially not after everything that's happened-- after all... He knows that he couldn't make himself do what Vivienne had done. He couldn't sacrifice himself, so maybe he is complicit here.
But at the same time... it's nice.]
You... don't have to. Honestly. There are enough people that need that protection, Terra.
I already know that I couldn't protect everyone. But, it doesn't mean I can't do my best to watch over those I still can and there's nothing you can say or do to stop me.
[ Terra will turn away from the other man, his words as sure as they'll ever be.
Han didn't choose to be involved in this and Terra knows that he doesn't want to sacrifice innocent people. That he, in his own way, tried to help them. Maybe it's because of what Han did earlier this evening that helped bring this change.
And if he's wrong about what he's decided about Han now...then let him be wrong. He's not perfect, but damn if he won't try his hardest. ]
I hope we can talk again soon, Han. If you need me for anything, let me know.
[ With that he'll pause just long enough for the other man to say his goodbyes, but he really doesn't plan to say anything else to him tonight, so after he does, or anything else he'd like to say, Terra will just make his exit. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Monday night - after all of that...stuff - week 4
He feels bad, to suggest something like that. So instead, he'll give Han's door a rap, to see if he's alright. ]
Han, are you around? I just wanted to talk to you for a quick moment.
[ If he isn't, he'll just leave and come another day, it's fine. ]
no subject
Yeah, come in.
no subject
...I'm sorry.
[ ... ]
I figured that since you were immune no one would get hurt, but I didn't think of any other dangers--and I...I don't want you to think that I thought you were...disposable or anything.
[ Now that it seemed Han cared about them and was trying to do their best for them, his wellbeing mattered too--staff or not. Even if he didn't, if he had gotten hurt for his suggestion--he had tried to think it through, granted, but not enough--then he would've never forgiven himself. ]
no subject
Thanks.
[well, that was actually nice to hear???]
I appreciate it.
no subject
...Are you going to be alright?
[ Last night -- well, still tonight -- was quite a trip. ]
no subject
Yeah. Considering, I'm pretty sure you guys have it worse than me right now. So, don't worry about it.
no subject
[ After that moment, his expression seems to finally settle out of any sort of awkwardness. ]
...Thanks for letting us know about all of that--earlier, I mean. If you wanted to, you could've just let us die, and it'll be all over. You didn't have to do anything.
[ Now, he doesn't know what else to say, because he didn't come here for anything else. Terra will just look at Han carefully, almost curiously now, and then begin to head back towards the door. ]
no subject
I don't want you to die. Please remember that?
1/2
Huh?
[ The surprise is enough that he almost walks straight into the door and boy, that would've been embarrassing. He'll turn his head to look at Han, however. ]
2/2
I'll...remember that. It's just been hard, I guess, to really imagine that you actually cared.
[ Terra takes a breath. He doesn't usually talk to Han, and he was about to leave, but he ... there's something else he wants to say now. Now that he's actually starting to trust him. ]
We're in a sadistic experiment here where people are practically being pushed to kill others, and none of them deserve this at all. I already knew you couldn't do much against the Administration, but I didn't know you or what your motivations were, and how you honestly felt about us.
I felt the same about Megumi--before I knew who she was. Even as time went on and I saw that the both of you at least intervened in a few incidents, I wasn't sure.
It's been hard, but I...want -- wanted --- to protect everyone. Han, I...I made a promise to Vivi. That I would look after everyone. That I'd make sure they wouldn't do anything foolish.
...But I failed. So, I've been trying so hard, to protect the people I could. At the same time, it looks like I had almost lost sight of it back then, and I might've gotten someone innocent hurt. I know I already apologized, but I want to let you know that from now on...
...you're one of those people I'll be looking after too.
no subject
But at the same time... it's nice.]
You... don't have to. Honestly. There are enough people that need that protection, Terra.
no subject
I already know that I couldn't protect everyone. But, it doesn't mean I can't do my best to watch over those I still can and there's nothing you can say or do to stop me.
[ Terra will turn away from the other man, his words as sure as they'll ever be.
Han didn't choose to be involved in this and Terra knows that he doesn't want to sacrifice innocent people. That he, in his own way, tried to help them. Maybe it's because of what Han did earlier this evening that helped bring this change.
And if he's wrong about what he's decided about Han now...then let him be wrong. He's not perfect, but damn if he won't try his hardest. ]
I hope we can talk again soon, Han. If you need me for anything, let me know.
[ With that he'll pause just long enough for the other man to say his goodbyes, but he really doesn't plan to say anything else to him tonight, so after he does, or anything else he'd like to say, Terra will just make his exit. ]