[ he wants to touch him; a comforting gesture to reassure him since he can see he's so nervous. but there's too much space between them, so he puts his hand on the desk, and lets his skin recede. it is an offering; a vulnerability of his own (he rarely shows his plastic to anyone; not even hank) in exchange for the vulnerability he wants from han. an offering to touch, if that's what the other man wants to do. ]
[ for a moment, a brief, awful moment, he remembers what he'd felt when he'd interfaced with megumi. that horrible sense of fear. the emotion he wasn't supposed to have. it is like the cat in the box. he is two things at once that cannot both be true. he is a machine designed to find machines that have been compromised and if necessary to destroy them. he is an android that felt sympathy for another android. when they open the box, will he still be alright with that idea? with the idea that han wants to overload the other robots? or will he have learned to be something he is not? ]
Why does that scare you?
[ funny, how desperately he wants to ask himself the same thing. ]
[there's silence there, at least at that last part. He's so close, so close to saying it all, and he leans in closer.]
Connor, I promise... It's going to all come out.
[Connor may not be human, but Han is. he so very much is. And his free hand reaches to his shoulder, fingers tangling in the fabric, pulling him closer.]
[ he can feel it; he's so fucking close but he also knows he can't push him too far or he'll lose him. it's a balancing act. it always is. just like it was with daniel, just like it was with carlos ortiz's stupidly unnamed android. ]
I want to trust you.
[ he lets himself be pulled, he leans forward and does what he knows han wants and kisses him on the lips. these gestures, these things -- they're as mechanical as he is, he doesn't have to have feelings for this man to do these things. (or have feelings at all, obviously) but. ]
[ quiet, now, because they're so close and because it feels better. he kisses him back and then decides this whole desk thing is kind of inconvenient, so after he breaks away he lets go of his hand for just a moment, just long enough to come around and sit on his desk, right in front of him. connor takes han's hand again. he knows exactly what he's doing. ]
I'm already at risk just being here.
[ and honestly, potentially more so if han does something that accidentally disables, say, every robot/android here. there's definitely an element of that in wanting to know the consequences. ]
[if han knew the fear, he could say something to reassure that. but he doesn't have his code, so... his chances are low.
But now with the change in positions, that allows Han the chance to stand, and press his advantage, leaning in close to him again, pressing himself between his legs.]
This is true.
Adding additional, unnecessary risk would be illogical, wouldn't it?
[ but even connor's program knows when to simulate being distracted, or maybe he really is distracted by that contact. he shifts, giving han a little more space. giving in easily to what he wants. ]
[that is damn good programming, Connor. Almost worth a visit back to, really-- if only the talking didn't lead to secret plans going in circles.
but right, feelings. he doesn't have them. right.]
Later would be ideal.
[after all, he wants to focus on other things. With this, he goes in for a harder kiss, his free hand tugging buttons on Connor's shirt, more aggressive and insistent]
[ even in this, connor adapts. the harder han kisses him, the more insistence han shows, the returns the feeling in kind - he shows need to match han's want, submission to go with his aggression. a perfect complement, every time.
he reaches over to go for the buttons on han's flannel shirt. he's so casual compared to the students with their fancy uniforms (blue-- which is good, connor loves blue), but in a way, it's a little like fucking on his desk; it's a power differential. humans like that, don't they? ]
[ but this time when he tells him as much, he doesn't sound cautious about it; his voice has almost a note of challenge to it. he knows han is all about his programming. ]
Would you like to find out what else it can do?
[ because, yeah, he's noticing how he doesn't stop. it sends a shiver through his body to feel han's hand against his skin. it's a nice kind of contact, he realizes. he wants to do the same for han, so he works faster to get his flannel shirt open so he can touch him in return. ]
[he exhales a little bit, in a sort of laugh.] That's some adaptability there.
[han's shirt is easy to undo-- it's worn, with signs of being a favorite shirt of his. He leans forward, kissing his neck. his hands then move to push his shirt off connor's shoulders.
[ connor smiles, a gentle laugh escaping his lips. he clearly likes the kisses to his neck - he bares it for han, giving him room to keep going.
han gets his jacket and shirt in one (obviously he wears all the layers of this uniform, who do you take him for?) and connor helps him once he's got han's shirt unbuttoned. he slides out of his upper layers and then pushes han's shirt off of him. it could be more chaotic than it is, but it feels fluid between them, easy to accomplish when they've both set their mind to the task. ]
[he notices that, though he wonders if that's something more than just social adaptability. But also, it eggs him on, and he presses his body flush against connor's, his hands sliding down his chest and between them.]
This has got to be outside of your programming...
[he mumbles just above the skin of his neck.]
You sure you still want to do this? It might not get you what you want.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[he starts tapping his finger nervously against the desk.]
Vivienne wanted to as well, but acting openly got her killed. And I don't know what else I'm being lied to about.
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It's hard having to carry secrets like that, alone.
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I can get access to the robots I think. But I need to make sure first.
After...
[tap tap tap, pause.]
Maybe I brought this up too soon.
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[ his voice is gentle, trying not to prod but offering confidence. ]
I was created to stop androids that would harm humans. You can trust me.
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[he chews the inside of his cheek for a moment.]
Give me a week. To test what I'm trying to do.
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What is it that you're going to attempt?
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He could definitely use some right now.]
I'm... going to crash them. Overload them, whatever it takes.
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Why does that scare you?
[ funny, how desperately he wants to ask himself the same thing. ]
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Because if it goes wrong, it will really go wrong.
[and then finally, he reaches out and touches his hand, glancing in the distance.]
This wasn't supposed to happen.
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[ connor takes han's hand in his own, rubbing his thumb along his skin reassuringly. ]
Earlier you said -- you wanted to do this without Hale knowing. Why act recklessly now, if we could work on it together?
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[which, he knows is a lame answer. But also, he doesn't know what else to say. At least, not yet. But also, his eyes get drawn to Connor's.]
And that's just it-- before I throw anything else at any of you, I want to make sure we can get away with it. That's all.
[he purses his lips, and leans in closer.]
This is... extremely fucked up.
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[ not of working with him. not of dying. not of their proximity now and the way han gets closer to him. ]
But I can't be effective if you don't talk to me.
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Connor, I promise... It's going to all come out.
[Connor may not be human, but Han is. he so very much is. And his free hand reaches to his shoulder, fingers tangling in the fabric, pulling him closer.]
Just. Trust me on this, alright?
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I want to trust you.
[ he lets himself be pulled, he leans forward and does what he knows han wants and kisses him on the lips. these gestures, these things -- they're as mechanical as he is, he doesn't have to have feelings for this man to do these things. (or have feelings at all, obviously) but. ]
Trust works best when it's mutual.
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It does, you're right. And I'm not saying I don't trust you.
[he weighs his words carefully, even though they're so close.]
But even if I told you, it might put us both at risk.
[and then kisses him again, because it felt good to acknowledge that raw part of his feelings, when the rest were... well. what they were.]
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[ quiet, now, because they're so close and because it feels better. he kisses him back and then decides this whole desk thing is kind of inconvenient, so after he breaks away he lets go of his hand for just a moment, just long enough to come around and sit on his desk, right in front of him. connor takes han's hand again. he knows exactly what he's doing. ]
I'm already at risk just being here.
[ and honestly, potentially more so if han does something that accidentally disables, say, every robot/android here. there's definitely an element of that in wanting to know the consequences. ]
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But now with the change in positions, that allows Han the chance to stand, and press his advantage, leaning in close to him again, pressing himself between his legs.]
This is true.
Adding additional, unnecessary risk would be illogical, wouldn't it?
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I disagree; being informed makes it easier to --
[ but even connor's program knows when to simulate being distracted, or maybe he really is distracted by that contact. he shifts, giving han a little more space. giving in easily to what he wants. ]
We can talk about it later.
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but right, feelings. he doesn't have them. right.]
Later would be ideal.
[after all, he wants to focus on other things. With this, he goes in for a harder kiss, his free hand tugging buttons on Connor's shirt, more aggressive and insistent]
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he reaches over to go for the buttons on han's flannel shirt. he's so casual compared to the students with their fancy uniforms (blue-- which is good, connor loves blue), but in a way, it's a little like fucking on his desk; it's a power differential. humans like that, don't they? ]
You can do whatever you want to me.
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Is that what your social adaptability program is saying?
[but he doesn't stop, working enough of the buttons undone so that he can press a palm flat across his chest.]
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[ but this time when he tells him as much, he doesn't sound cautious about it; his voice has almost a note of challenge to it. he knows han is all about his programming. ]
Would you like to find out what else it can do?
[ because, yeah, he's noticing how he doesn't stop. it sends a shiver through his body to feel han's hand against his skin. it's a nice kind of contact, he realizes. he wants to do the same for han, so he works faster to get his flannel shirt open so he can touch him in return. ]
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[han's shirt is easy to undo-- it's worn, with signs of being a favorite shirt of his. He leans forward, kissing his neck. his hands then move to push his shirt off connor's shoulders.
his movements are getting just a touch quicker]
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han gets his jacket and shirt in one (obviously he wears all the layers of this uniform, who do you take him for?) and connor helps him once he's got han's shirt unbuttoned. he slides out of his upper layers and then pushes han's shirt off of him. it could be more chaotic than it is, but it feels fluid between them, easy to accomplish when they've both set their mind to the task. ]
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This has got to be outside of your programming...
[he mumbles just above the skin of his neck.]
You sure you still want to do this? It might not get you what you want.
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this is so....unfortunate......and nsfw
this is the best tag i have ever received
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