office hours: round 1.

[foo_bar]

office hours daily. i'm here to help... i think.

(screened PCs with han)

Comments

[foo_bar]

Yeah, but what if the next person isn't?

[he says it slowly, and deliberately, to hide his slurring just a bit.]

[donotlick]

[ Hank pauses. He'd had these thoughts himself, of course. He's a cop. He isn't the habit of condoning capital punishment. ]

Can't you, I dunno, make some kinda fucking jail or something? Does Hale really have to kill these people?

[foo_bar]

No.

I dunno.

I fucking have no clue.

[he lets his head fall back and he stares at the ceiling]

Bbbbut I doubt he'd let us.

[donotlick]

Yeah, who fucking knows. Not like he's the highest-ranked asshole in this shithole, anyway.

[ Middle-management asshole... ]

Just seems fucking stupid. We all know killing is bad -- making this shit 'an eye for an eye' when they're offering up motives is like bringing red ice to a rehab place and then arresting people for taking it. Maybe don't fucking do that shit, if you're just gonna kill 'em!

He could at least stop with the fucking execution. Give the dead some damn respect.

[foo_bar]

[and that's when he starts to rap his knuckle against the table.]

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, this shit's barbaric, eh.

[donotlick]

[ MMmmm yeah it's a good thing Hank's a cop so he's Seen Some Shit. ]

Right? That was fucking too much. Just... I dunno. Take him out back and make it quick or something, shit.

[foo_bar]

Mais pourquoi?

[said sardonically, he's too drunk to try and remember his french now, in a serious manner]

What's quicker than a beheading?

[he's not bitter.]

[donotlick]

Yeah, in public? Just like old goddamn times.

[ He grumbles. He definitely lives close enough to Canada to understand French, alright. ]

[foo_bar]

[french is great, just not when you half speak it and are drunk.

or maybe that's the best time, who knows.]

Just like old times.

[he lifts his head]

Okay. Okay. Ooookay maybe diff'rent top...topic...

[donotlick]

Yeah, death and alcohol don't really go so well together -- not unless you're looking to end up like me.

[ And again, Hank is 100% convinced he's disgustingly unattractive, so you don't want to end up like him. ]

How 'bout you tell me something that isn't totally shitty? Or fuck, I dunno, have you talked to Megumi about the Vivienne thing yet?

[foo_bar]

No.

[hank stop it, why are you so insecure???]

Nnnnnot yet. It's fine.

[but also he's hitting on every single Thing eating at Han this week]

[donotlick]

[ He's a detective for a reason, buddy. ]

So have you talked to Hale then? Because he's been super chatty with me this week.

[foo_bar]

No! I fucking hate him!

[he snaps at that one.]

He creeps me out.

[donotlick]

[ Tell us how you really feel, Han. ]

Yeah? Cause he thought you were H up until we spoke way so I figured maybe he was like, weirdly chummy with you.

[foo_bar]

He is.

[and he hates it, he hates him, and he hates everything right now.]

He wants me to run... run this stupid course, but... wants all of you to like me. Like me? Because if you trust maybe you'll be successful.

It's fucking stupid, I fucking hate it.

[donotlick]

I mean, you're a pretty nice guy, Han. Can't say you're particularly failing in that department.

[ But yeah, Hank shrugs. ]

This whole program's bullshit though, I can see why you'd be pissed. What's "successful" even supposed to be here? Not dying?

[foo_bar]

Not dying.

[he agrees, and looks a little miserable.]

Not dying is it.

[fuck, he puts his head down. why did they start talking about hale, and then not dying.]

[donotlick]

Hey, at least everybody here's good at that.

[ Sorry, Han... he kind of thought they would trash Hale for a bit and then things would get better. ]

Not dying's easier than it looks, I mean even I can do it.