office hours: round 1.

[foo_bar]

office hours daily. i'm here to help... i think.

(screened PCs with han)

Comments

[donotlick]

[ Well, that's easy. Hank doesn't move to hell, but he does glance at the papers. ]

Probably this last one. Android killed his owner—stabbed him twenty eight times. The body wasn't found for like a month. It was fucking awful.

Android was just acting in self-defense, based on the abuse we found and his testimony. But androids don't have rights back home, so he won't get a trial or shit. It's just back to CyberLife to get scrapped.

[ Which, weirdly, sounds like it bothers him. ]

[foo_bar]

Sounds like that bothers you, Hank.

[he doesn't sound smug about it, though he is noting the change. Especially after their heated conversation earlier in the week.

He sets the glasses down on the desk.]

Was this a unique deviant case?

[donotlick]

Just fucking sucks, that's all. CyberLife shouldn't have fucking made them feel shit in the first place.

[ He shakes his head. It's fucked up? CyberLife is fucked up. ]

We've been getting more and more cases of androids going rogue like that, so that's why they sent Connor. CyberLife doesn't want people worrying that their precious androids might kill 'em while they sleep.

[foo_bar]

[if he had some tea, he'd sip it.]

Too bad you can't have someone go in and independently verify exactly what their code does. This seems like it'd make a lot of things clearer.

[but by now, he's twisting the bottle of whiskey open]

[donotlick]

[ Hank snorts. ]

Pretty sure if it was just a glitch in the code, they would've patched it out by now.

[ Ah!! Booze tho!! Yay!! Hank smirks. ]

They keep calling 'em errors in their code, but deviants can do shit like turn off their trackers, so who the hell decided that could be a thing? It's too fucking convenient.

[foo_bar]

[he pours the liquor into one of the glasses as Hank talks, and then pushes that towards him. He fills the other for himself.]

You're right, that doesn't sound like a glitch at all.

[he takes that glass, and takes a sip, kicking a foot up to the desk, and balancing it. on the edge.

He's not above putting his feet on his desk. Obviously.]

But I couldn't say for sure.

[donotlick]

[ A man after his own heart. ]

Yeah, who knows. It's not my job to find out, at least. Let somebody else deal with that shit.

[ Oh, except it's literally going to be his job the next day so once he remembers that, that'll be Fun. But Hank takes the glass and slouches in his chair, taking a sip and smiling as the burn makes its way down his throat. ]

Alright, here's my question: what's your beef with Hale? Why'd he hire somebody who hates his fucking guts?

[foo_bar]

[he pauses.

and then takes a longer drink.

oops, it's empty.]

To be fair, I didn't know he was going to be my boss.

[donotlick]

[ Damn, son. That sure makes Hank smirk.

Bro, you're gonna get drunk drinking like that. ]

So did Megumi do the hiring, or did you just fill out some kinda ad?

[foo_bar]

Megumi's newer than me. Some HR Rep did the hiring for my old department.

[he wipes his mouth]

Oswald pulled me out of that to make me run this "new and improved" program.

[his voice raises mockingly at new and improved, and he starts to pour himself another glass. he accidentally drank his already.]

The onboarding's been a nightmare.

[donotlick]

Bureaucracy's shit, ain't it?

[ Hank takes a drink to that. He's not even done with his first glass yet though. ]

You miss your old boss? Because Hale sounds like a fucking nightmare to work with -- what with the killing and all.

[foo_bar]

Barely knew the guy. But better than where I'm at now.

I didn't think my first real job would be running something that doesn't even feel legal.

[donotlick]

Yeaaaah, that's not gonna look great on your resume, I can tell you right now.

[ But it makes Hank laugh tbh. Han kind of deserves this shit. ]

Ain't Todd's bosses the ones behind everything? Who even signs your checks?

[foo_bar]

[he kinda does. but at this point.]

The university does. I dunno, it get's direct deposited you know.

Canada wouldn't do this to me.

[and then. he takes another drink. but not a long one, not this time.]

[donotlick]

What're you even gonna spend your money on? A better laptop?

[ If the world is so awful, money seems kind of pointless??? ]

Alright, what's Canada like? I mean, I know what it's like for me -- Android-free and actually nice, but what's it like here?

[foo_bar]

No, my laptop is great.

[it's old.]

Anyway, "Canada is nice" is basically a universal constant.

[donotlick]

Huh. Guess I'm used to the shit we have back home.

[ Which are way nicer than yours, buddy. Hank takes another drink. ]

That's good to hear. Why the hell couldn't we have done this shit in Canada instead of this shithole?

[foo_bar]

It looks bad, but it gets the job done for me, and then some.

[he would pat the laptop, but that would be weird.]

And because this wouldn't have worked there, or at least I'd hope it wouldn't have. But here, either it's fine, or somethings happening to whoever is reporting it.

[donotlick]

Ain't the world supposed to be all fucked, and that's why we're trying to do that shit to "save the world"?

[ If you need some alone time with that laptop, that's cool, dude. Get it on with your roomba next. ]

Are you telling me America's fucked and Canada's doing fine?

[foo_bar]

[don't call him out like this.]

It has to be that way, but I get the feeling something else is wrong. But I don't know what it is.

[donotlick]

"It has to be that way," meaning what? You guys telling us it's fucked, or the world actually fucked?

[ Wait. ]

Do you not remember?

[foo_bar]

No. I mean. I remember one way-- but not this.

[donotlick]

What the hell's that supposed to mean? ]

[ Holy shit. ]

Please don't tell me you were in fucking stasis or something and woke up to some fucked up planet.

[foo_bar]

No. I was never in stasis, okay? This just means that there's something going on, and I don't have the answers.

And that what is happening doesn't make sense.

[donotlick]

Oh, thank fuck.

[ He was starting to assume the worst sci fi bullshit here. He takes a drink. Actually, a refill would be nice. ]

So... as far as you know, this shouldn't be happening? Then how do you explain what happened to the people who went outside?