office hours: round 1.

[foo_bar]

office hours daily. i'm here to help... i think.

(screened PCs with han)

Comments

[reshoot]

Um, if you're in trouble...

[she runs her hand through her hair awkwardly, nervously]

Actually, I don't know. We can just drop it, I guess.

..I wanted to ask about a few things. You have time?

[foo_bar]

Always.

Have a seat.

[he motions to the chair in front of his desk]

[reshoot]

[...She sits.]

I feel like I'm in the principal's office...

Anyway, you didn't happen to find any hairpins for me, did you?

[foo_bar]

Ah-- right. We talked about this.

[he opens his desk drawer, and pulls out a new pack of cheap bobby pins.]

[reshoot]

Oh my god, you actually did it!

[a genuine smile. She honestly didn't think he'd come through with this. If he offers them to her, she'll gently take them.]

I really appreciate it, Han. I know it was kind of silly but...It's nice to know I can rely on you. Even if it's just for stuff like this. [look she desperately wants to believe you're not evil]

[foo_bar]

[he will not be able to 100%, satisfactorily prove that. But god damn it, he'll try. He does hand over the bobby pins though.]

This is the easier stuff, right? Like I said, no problem. This is what I wish my job was.

[reshoot]

Instead of writing morally ambiguous code? Yeah, giving girls hairpins is a much better gig.

[She leans back, taking out a couple of the pins and pinning her bangs to the side. It's been a while since she had a hair cut.]

That's better. I was a few more questions, if that's okay.

Chief among them, how do I look?

[snerk]

Just kidding, don't answer that.

[foo_bar]

[he was about to open his mouth to respond, and then exhales a breath and laughs]

Right, sorry, should have figured. Anyway, whatcha got for me?

[reshoot]

Do you know how long this is going to last? This...semester, or whatever you call it. Before, we were sent to the house after only a couple weeks. Is it going to be the same this time? Or...are we here for the foreseeable future, now?

[foo_bar]

Well, how long's the semester back home?

That's... probably a good guiding estimate.

[he looks a little apologetic for it.]

[reshoot]

Don't die for four months, got it. [SIGH]

That's a sentence I didn't want to ever have to say.

[She leans forward, putting her elbows on the desk.]

I don't know what to do with myself, Han.

Forget all of the murder and evil Oswald and whatever. This is supposed to be some kind of school for us, right? What are we actually doing? It feels like...nothing.

[foo_bar]

That's because it is like nothing. [he rubs the back of his head.]

... But you want some actual classes? I've got wasted lesson plans right now.

[reshoot]

It's not that I want it. It's...How is what we're doing helping anyone?

If the purpose is turning us into heroes, I don't see how sitting around eating cafeteria food is accomplishing that. Unless the purpose is to turn us into master crime scene investigators.

Which I don't think you need 20 of...

[foo_bar]

I don't know.

[he exhales.]

It doesn't make sense to me, either.

[reshoot]

Are you under the same duress as us?

Obey all orders, make a wrong move and you're punished with a depressing, mysterious death?

[foo_bar]

Sort of-- my calls to the police have went no where, at least.

[he shrugs]

And I'm a little bit of a coward-- I'd rather not die if I can help it, sorry.

[reshoot]

[She frowns. Yikes. There's no way to believe him of course, but...]

...You don't need to apologize for wanting to stay alive. It doesn't make you a coward either. It's more human than anything.

I'd rather not die either. Not that...there's much I can do to prevent that, hah.

[The futility is...sad.]

Everything feels really empty. I've been doing this for months. I feel like I'm going insane, I don't know how much longer I can...[Her voice gets lower and lower until it drops off and she covers her face with her hands]

Why am I telling you this?

[foo_bar]

[oh... oh no. He freezes for a moment, and then stands up, goes around the desk, and puts an arm around her]

Hey, hey. It's fine. What happens in here stays in here, you know?

[reshoot]

[Max tenses up momentarily when he touches her. He's still...She doesn't know how to feel about him. Not sure if she feels safe with him or not.]

It's not fine. Why is my life so fucked up? All I'm doing is trying to survive, that's all I have.

And if you want to know the truth, as hard as I'm trying to trust everyone, they scare the hell out of me. All it takes is one person to crack and then we'll all just––just––we're expendable, you know? I'm not––I'm––[okay Max's face is turning red and she's clearly flustered and upset and trying not to cry but it's SO HARD when you're eighteen and you've been away from your loved ones for months on end with no promise of surviving long enough to even get an opportunity to go back.]

I'm not special. I'm just––one of the group. If I was a casualty, it wouldn't matter. If I have to die so that someone can make a point, they're going to make their point. I'm trapped in this fucked up, twisted game, under some creepy dude's thumb. I'm a doll in a dollhouse, waiting to be thrown away or replaced.

[She's shaking and it's not because of how she might be starting to sob, and it's not because she's angry or sad or uncomfortable. It's as if all of the bottled up fear inside of this girl is coming out all at once. What all of the brave faces, smiles, and reassurance has been hiding. Two months of paranoia that every next day is her last.]

Why am I doing this? What are you doing Max!?

[foo_bar]

[he hesitates.

and then, he hugs her, she seems like she needs it, even if he's. probably a big reason why she's upset.]

You're not-- look. Don't listen to this place's shit attitude, okay? This place is bullshit and you shouldn't believe a word about it.

[reshoot]

[she doesn't move away, but she's also not wrapping her arms around him in kind, either. Max really wants to just let it all out and sob her heart out for hours, but she stops and thinks about Chloe. What she would do. Definitely not sit here and cry in some guy she hardly know's arms.]

I don't, but whether it's all fabrication or not, it doesn't make it any less my reality. I don't have anything, here. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act or spend my time or who to––

[sniffles...]

All I can do is march forward until the path ahead of me comes to a stop.

It sucks, Han.

[foo_bar]

[now that she's calming down at least-- a little. He feels awful, and it weighs on his chest. But he pulls back from the hug, and settles for rubbing her back for a moment-- as long as she hasn't pushed him away.]

There's no one? Not a single person you trust? I get not trusting me, but what about the other people from the entrance exam? So many of them are here.

[reshoot]

So many? There's six of us, Han. Out of almost thirty. I don't even know if the others are still alive--those of them that weren't already dead.

[That last line, remembering Mishima and Sherlock and Aiden and Vivian...She grits her teeth.]

I do trust them, for your information. But that doesn't....It doesn't change the way I feel. If anything, it makes it worse. It's not just me that's expendable. It's everyone. We're all constantly in danger, and this time I don't even have some stupid deus ex machina bullshit to fix my stupid mistakes.

I'm doing everything I can, so don't think that I'm weak just because of...this. But I'm eighteen, Han. I'm a kid. I'm in high school. I can't take it. I feel completely numb and in constant pain at the same time.

[a few deep, long breathes. She runs her hand over her face and tries to regain some semblance of composure.]

I should stop. I need to stop talking about this.

[foo_bar]

[he just... this wasn't something he could solve. he could say what she wanted to hear, but it felt like it'd be a lie the minute the lecture started. And he didn't want to make things worse.

It's just.]

Not all of us are against you.

[reshoot]

Who hit you?