office hours: round 1.

[foo_bar]

office hours daily. i'm here to help... i think.

(screened PCs with han)

Comments

[donotlick]

Yeah, well I wasn't exactly asking for it, either!

[ He grumbles!! He's blushing too, this is awful?? ]

The key word here is hated. I didn't know any androids before, now I know Connor's not some fucking toaster. It's not the same!

[foo_bar]

[he just... sighs and laughs at the same time.]

Shit.

[that's all he's got, Hank. Literally, all he's got.]

[donotlick]

Just shut up. I don't want to talk about this.

[ And yet, he keeps talking. He can't stop? ]

Do I seriously have to remind you that you're the one fucking him? What, are you trying to taunt me? "Let's make fun of the old man who's got a creepy crush on the android twink." Yeah, ha-ha, hilarious.

[foo_bar]

Ok. Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy.

We-- we can drop it. Itsh fine!

[donotlick]

[ Ah, drunk Han is coming out... which means it's time for bad decisions? Probably. Maybe Han will just remember this as a blur tomorrow. Either way, Hank just keeps going... ]

Good! I don't wanna hear whatever hot, freaky shit you two are getting up to. Bad enough you're both fucking hot.

[foo_bar]

[and then he just fucking bursts out laughing, saying positively,]

I'm gonna r'member this. Gonna give you soooo much shit about it.

[donotlick]

[ Hank glares harder. Why did he even come to comfort Han??? Being friends sucks!! ]

Shut the fuck up, no you won't! You're a lightweight and we both know it.

[foo_bar]

Lightweight-- and still gonna 'member this.

[he waves off his concern.]

[donotlick]

Yeah, don't count on it, pal. Take another drink and talk about something else, otherwise I'm leaving!

[ Hank, you're the one who invited yourself over... ]

[foo_bar]

Oh, right. Riiiight.

[he grabs the bottle.]

S'pose this one's hit right...

[time for another drink]

[donotlick]

[ Hells yeah, that actually worked!! ]

Hey, I was serious about the Connor thing. He's your responsibility now, too. If I find out you've been lying to him or some shit, there's gonna be hell to pay.

[ Somehow the threat doesn't feel as dangerous now, but he means it!! ]

[foo_bar]

[he's predisposed to drink, after his crushing failure. that's all he wants to do.]

I'mmmmm not lying.

[at least, not as far as he knows??]

[donotlick]

Not saying you are, I just mean -- if you start, I dunno, changing your mind about this shit or something, you let him down slow, you got it?

[ Thatta boy, Han! That's the Hank Anderson way. ]

Connor's not some damn machine. He'd pretend nothing ever bothers him, but I know him better than that.

[foo_bar]

Yeah... Feelings are a lot.

[a pause]

Even if you're used to them. But I... I know he's got stuff going on. That he's trying to ggget to the bottom of... all this shit.

[donotlick]

Yeah, he's got a million fucking things in his head and a million processors trying to work through 'em all. He thinks he's got it all under control, but... I still worry about him.

[foo_bar]

Yeah.

[he pauses and stares at the bottle. a million things, and yet. han is the one here trying to figure out what the fuck to do with himself.

He exhales, and then pushes the whiskey away.]

Shit. You're right. Hhhhhere I am, slackin' off like... like a loser, eh... And you guys... rrrr trying hard.

[donotlick]

Aw, don't sweat it. You can take the night off for once. You've been working how long on your damn codes?

Just take a load off, man. Connor might be an android who [ airquotes ] "never gets tired," but we're not.

[foo_bar]

[he shrugs a little apologetically at that.]

Nnnot long enough, apparently. Apprently? No wait, I said it right the first time.

[donotlick]

So, you'll do better next time. Don't sweat it.

[ Hank waves a hand. This is maybe a little awful but... ]

Grantaire was a fucking asshole. He knew what he was getting into.

[foo_bar]

Yeah, but what if the next person isn't?

[he says it slowly, and deliberately, to hide his slurring just a bit.]

[donotlick]

[ Hank pauses. He'd had these thoughts himself, of course. He's a cop. He isn't the habit of condoning capital punishment. ]

Can't you, I dunno, make some kinda fucking jail or something? Does Hale really have to kill these people?

[foo_bar]

No.

I dunno.

I fucking have no clue.

[he lets his head fall back and he stares at the ceiling]

Bbbbut I doubt he'd let us.

[donotlick]

Yeah, who fucking knows. Not like he's the highest-ranked asshole in this shithole, anyway.

[ Middle-management asshole... ]

Just seems fucking stupid. We all know killing is bad -- making this shit 'an eye for an eye' when they're offering up motives is like bringing red ice to a rehab place and then arresting people for taking it. Maybe don't fucking do that shit, if you're just gonna kill 'em!

He could at least stop with the fucking execution. Give the dead some damn respect.

[foo_bar]

[and that's when he starts to rap his knuckle against the table.]

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, this shit's barbaric, eh.

[donotlick]

[ MMmmm yeah it's a good thing Hank's a cop so he's Seen Some Shit. ]

Right? That was fucking too much. Just... I dunno. Take him out back and make it quick or something, shit.